Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
