I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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