no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
