i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
