Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
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She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
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Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize