I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize