yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
