why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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