I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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