is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
