think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
