dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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