After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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