She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
