Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize