Sponge bath it is.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize