Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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