This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
