should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
