I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.