Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please