3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK