why didn't you poke me back
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You were trust falling into bushes
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life