Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I party with great urgency now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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