Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Randomize
