Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Bring me that man meat
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
