I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
