Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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