i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
