Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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