Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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