I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
