Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
