I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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