Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
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Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
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I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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