I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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