Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Randomize