3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
