Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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