found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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