Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
