I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
