8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
