So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
