She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
