he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
