She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
