Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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