sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize