Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
