You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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