My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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