She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
