question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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