I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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