Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
