The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
