i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
