I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
